Take it From Here ..

uhmm .. today was a nice day . chilled with my mom :D yeah , nice way to start a blog ehh .so well , me and mom chilled at the mall and just drove around everywhere LOL . we drove in my moms old car . ohmygsh !! i love my moms new car . sun roof .. usb plugging , madd bass , heating chairs . maaan whatta turn on LOL , jks . but freal i love this car . soo gonna be mine one day i hope . but yeah . today i was in a mood of reminecing . <-- probably spelled it wrong watevers LOL but yeah , thinking back how life used to be simple ehh . who cared about money .. and clothes and stuff when all you had was a park , friends , school and recess . and there was always your elementry school loves ;) LOL those were aweosme days . just having a simple life but what we didn`t notice was that we were living it up even then . now we have this who whos cool and stupid image . missing our kiddy ages . where we had fun , liked a boy , fallen in love , had our frist kiss . memories really make me feel sad , but then again i should be happy that they happened right ? but yeah . i wuld trade anyhting just to go back to those days but i gotta take it from here and move on foward cos thats what we humans can only do . all we can do is just know that theres always another day . even if it was crap today where maybe someone not mentioning who yelled at you for not doing enough , even though they don`t realize when they were gone they did alot . you just gotta know there is a new day tommorow and you can make it better . but yeah . today was a sweet begginning and middle but a bitter end , but what i can i do right , just focus on the good and ignore those shyt ehh ;D but summer is ending O: i am finally admitting .. i am nervous as hell for PET . i have never moved before . idk how it feels to be in a place with no one you know . even tho annie moved up with me .. we haven`t been very close with each other this summer . but imma try to make things better . so one important thing before i end this blog is pretty much make well with those you haven`t spoken to for awhile :D way back to good times <33333

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PLANS FOR THIS WEEK { BUSSY LIKE HELL ! } ;

• monday { chilling with annie / house cleaning ?
• tuesday { regerstration day / checking out the school
  
• wednesday { reachign buffalo for school shoppinnng baaby ! ;)
• thursday { facial / make up day ? & ikeaa <3333333333
• friday { relax (Y) ;)

anyways thats it ! have fun reading my retarded blogs (Y) <3>

Cater 2 you .

hey everyone . sorry about totally being MIA lately . just been chilling at home . so yeah , updates .. uhmm .. school is starting up real soon . im pretty nervous i guess ? new kids , new place . try to make your way thru it . but i have Annie and others so i guess i`ll be fine . but at least school is not starting fro another like 1 and a half week right ? so during that time i am ; 1. BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING <3> a new car LOL . 3. just living life (: so those are the things i needa accomplish soon . and guess what ! i got two goldfish . their new home is in a fish bowl in my room LOL . i styll have no idea what to name em yet ): but its all good . my mom told me to name one Alexandra { my sisters name . LOL so i can yell at it cos i told her how its not fair that she has someone to yell at and i don`t . all i have is like uhh , no one LOL so shes like hears a goldfish .. have fun LOL . but yeah . might be chilling at fairview tomorrow , then cne on Sunday maybee .. and BUFFALO for more clothes . i think that's also why i want a job . to make $$$ = MORE CLOTHES . thats what sucks about being a girl . there is never TOO much clothes LMFAO . anyways . i guess thats an update about me lately . P.S ; i played three hours of NBA 2K9 and i rock those players ball ;) LOOOOL . good times cousin nick ! OH YA , one last thing LOL . i dyed my hair . imma put up a picture , sorry if i look really pale . but i guess its the lighting . this was taken when we were at acura getting a new car . 5 hours then maan , so i camwhore <3>cluding colour just by me saying acura .. creepy . but no worries , still love yaa ugly face ;D

new hair<3

my fishies ;D

anyways , outtie . xoxo . cw <3>

a walk to remember <3

heeeey y`all (: another day . this week was pretty interesting . chilled around with my homies LOL . what else did i do .. ? OH YA , i got gordon and stuppid loser jasmine to come to church with me LMFAO . was that a fun ass day . gordon is the POPMON champion { LOL . but yeah , that was a fun night even at moments where i wanted to kill jasmine but we manage . more to come ehh guys ? but yeah .. tommrow im going to ikea <3>;( buts its all good . summer is ALMOST over..sucks ehh . feels like you`ve just started to have knowing that it`ll be gone in days ): but live it to the max while you can right ? but yeaaah , am i going tot ny ? i have no clue . needa ask mom if we`re gonna go anywhere before my regerstration day cos i got plans to make for next week LOL . i so need a chillage with kenna and everyone else . missed you people . so have a good ass summer while its still here before it gets freezing coldd again LOL . anyways ; outtie .

- cw <3

everytime i come close to you ..

heyy y`all (: tittle was inspired by G DRAGON ! O: his new album sounds like it will be hot ehh . kenna and linda got me hooked to it . dayum . so today was sorta like a little awesome LOL . my good fellow friends came back up to chill with me . that made my day . this all goes out to kenna { my cha sew bow <3 & gordon baaby that fatass i love , & jasmineee my loser baby & gordons soon to be girlfriend linda LOL . aw man , summer is almost over , but i guess i had a somewhat good summer . a decent one at least . needa go back to school shopping for clothes . thats a defitnetly need (: OHMYGSH , today was a wack ass day . guess what . a damn tornado goign through vaughan mills . and my friends actually wanted to go wonderland .. HA my ass . you would have been stuck in the tornado and i would ahve been like toodles LOL :D but its all good . sad for the people who got their houses damaged by the T . maan i never thgouht they would actually near ontario cos its not flat land . so much for geo class . but yeah . school is gonna come soon , me ready . just not so sure . but can`t wait to meet the boys <3 but i can do it ehh . CLOTHES + BOYS <3 .. well ... outtie <3 ;)

- cw

everyday is a day for redemption .

another dayy .. yupp . tried to relax but didn`t . man .. is a plant that important . honestly . now shes all cheesed and stuff and like now its honestly buggin . they honestly don`t know how it feels like when you have no one to take the anger out . yeah i know its not good when you relaese it on someone but they do it . thank god im smart to use a blog . they just don`t relaize how hurtful it can be . mom sometimes just doesn`t settle for trying . it has to be this way or that way . she needs to get that she can`t get crap if she keeps demending it . honestly if she wants things done well , do it yourself or get a servant . im not tryng to be like selfish or anything , but i cut back a heck lot for her . not going out , stay home , do her stuff , bills .. everything . soon later i have school to think and stress over about . my life ain`t easy . things to do , trying to fit in . working hard .. honestly ain`t easy . summer is almost over .. this summer wasn`t super duper memorable . except wonderland , and VBS really . this summer i`ve never felt so out of my element . i`ve never felt so emotional and down . just thought summer was suppose to be having fun but really it feels like i took a visit to hell . just hope that things will get better . and maybe they will try to understand me . i relaize no one has ever asked if i was okay or if im alrite .. it sometimes feels as if im invisable or just a peasent . sucks ehh . what to do honestly. all i can do is give it time . crying ain`t gonna do much , except for getting pity which is not what i want . i know they get stressed and stuff . but i do too . thats what i need them to relaze . everyone else can raise they`re voice , yell at me and stuff . when i raise it i get screwed by my parents . like wtf really . noot fair . hope it gets better .. always time for redemption right ? hope so ..

you`ve got a big HA HA HA ego ;)

eyy , ahh ! schools almost starting up . haven`t been on the computer much since there was VBS . boy was that an awesome week . even though the kids beat the living crap out of me .. i still love em <3 everything has been hectic lately with moving and trying to get back at church , everyone seem really like distant with me and honestly it makes me feel really uncomfortable .. but i`ll get over cos gods here to protect me right ? LOL . OH YAS , HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDRA AND GORDON BABY , i love you fatasses for lifeee man ! AND guess what ?! im getting new furniture . new bad , draws and all . time for a fresh new start cos school is stating up real soon. needa look fresh and proper for dem boys LOL . and i will be getting make up and facial , got ym hair cut . no moe hair dying , my hair is gonna be so damaged f'real . but hopefully i can reach the sex`d NY for a new wardrobe for school (Y) crossed fingers LOL . anyways outtie ;) nights <3 >

there`s more to Life if you listen to your <3

another day gone by . each day everyone learns something new or teaches someone something they don`t know . tommrow is church day . i was always fine with going to church .. but for some reason i have a feeling of isolation tommorow cos i haven`t been to church for a while . maybe it won`t be like that . as long as i just speak up and not be nervous about talking to people . i can do it . tomrmows meeting with VBS .. TEACHERS ASSITANT :O something i have never tried before . im pretty nervous about it . i can do all this , this is my way and gods way of getting me back on track with GOD . I CAN DO THIS <3 . so yeah .. cooking wiht my mom was fun today , i actually learned how to do some stuff and it was nice to spend time with my mom . alex is xomng back in about 2 days . excited .. not really . just actually not sure what to expect . hopefully all things go well but she doesn`t seem like a very accepting person atm. shes very angry and i allow her to be but in my opinion shes talking ths a little to far . but this is all her choice . godjust shine some light in this situation (: but if she wants to ignore me , its okay . i`ll let her do her thing . i gotta get on with my way , i can let her hold me back of what life should be to me . yeah i skipped church once but shes making a really big deal and it hard on me . but maybe one day she`ll let it all go . BUT maan, i gotta sit through her lectures .. again . shes gotta uderstand that all family there is ONE good child, & ONE bad child . thats what you expect . but i`ll do my best but she gotta relalize im not gonna be kissing up her as to get her to talk to me and make well with me . if thats how shes gonna be , thats a game she can play with herself. i realize these games are not worth playing , in the end someone gets hurt . i guess alex never knows about cos she thinks everything for me is all simply and easy . this month without her i really went into overly stressed . it feels like im the one wearing the pants . doing this and that . and what sucks it was i get twice as many chores i got before . sucks ehh . sumer is coming to an end , this summer isn`t that memorable . but maybe ths summer was a summer where i finally grew up . never strike back cos whats the point . someone is just gonna get hurt . if i ever gete angry , imma zen myself and let it all out through blog , this is my next new thing . { there`s more to life is you listen to your heart<3 tommrow is a new day and imma take t by the horns and be myself , no more holding back . i can do this .

keeping myself ZEN .

uhh another day of being myself . everything has been up and down ever since we move . yeah in the beginning me and alex were fine and going great while me and my mom was a hell storm to me . now that things are sorta getting better with my mom , things with alex is crap . she has been ignorng me and just doesn`t want me alive as if . things with dad is usual , him and his brainless mind man ! boys.. right LOL . so i`ve been pretty stressed , VBS pops out at me and im rushing everything . but people tend to do well when they are rushed so i guess im doing alright . things at home are never usual . me alone , alex mad , mom mad at dad , dad + tv . whatta normal family right .. i know -.- things with shawn seem to be not as bad as i thought . i thought the whole moving would really take a toll on our " daoughter and father " relationship you know , but really i`ve never felt so close with him . he`s always ears for me when i needa let out whats on my mind . will things get better this summer , i honestly thought this summer was gonna be better but it has been pretty much crap. will things with me and alex get better .. only god knows . but i feel god has been playing a big part in my life atm. yeah im sorry god for not being the good child or sheep ? LOL . i know i cuss and stuff , cos i have no where to express anger . but now i found blogging a really good way .. anyways back to what i was saying LOL .. GOD (A) .. i was extremly down this week , becos my mom would get mad at with everything in the house , when something goes wrong .. BAM its me to blame . i know i screw up and all , but doesn`t everyone ? i try to live day by day . i know i`ve been keeping bad thoguhts in my head but god somehows sends the right person to comfort me when i feel those moments. and when i feel like i have nowhere else to turn to .. god shows me a place where i can be just fine .. CHURCH . he made me not become a quitter .. i was gonna give up volunteering at vbs but then he got someone to email me and get me right back on track . imma do my volunteer hours this yr and next few years work , make money , get car , soon move to LA BAABY <3