another day gone by . each day everyone learns something new or teaches someone something they don`t know . tommrow is church day . i was always fine with going to church .. but for some reason i have a feeling of isolation tommorow cos i haven`t been to church for a while . maybe it won`t be like that . as long as i just speak up and not be nervous about talking to people . i can do it . tomrmows meeting with VBS .. TEACHERS ASSITANT :O something i have never tried before . im pretty nervous about it . i can do all this , this is my way and gods way of getting me back on track with GOD . I CAN DO THIS <3 . so yeah .. cooking wiht my mom was fun today , i actually learned how to do some stuff and it was nice to spend time with my mom . alex is xomng back in about 2 days . excited .. not really . just actually not sure what to expect . hopefully all things go well but she doesn`t seem like a very accepting person atm. shes very angry and i allow her to be but in my opinion shes talking ths a little to far . but this is all her choice . godjust shine some light in this situation (: but if she wants to ignore me , its okay . i`ll let her do her thing . i gotta get on with my way , i can let her hold me back of what life should be to me . yeah i skipped church once but shes making a really big deal and it hard on me . but maybe one day she`ll let it all go . BUT maan, i gotta sit through her lectures .. again . shes gotta uderstand that all family there is ONE good child, & ONE bad child . thats what you expect . but i`ll do my best but she gotta relalize im not gonna be kissing up her as to get her to talk to me and make well with me . if thats how shes gonna be , thats a game she can play with herself. i realize these games are not worth playing , in the end someone gets hurt . i guess alex never knows about cos she thinks everything for me is all simply and easy . this month without her i really went into overly stressed . it feels like im the one wearing the pants . doing this and that . and what sucks it was i get twice as many chores i got before . sucks ehh . sumer is coming to an end , this summer isn`t that memorable . but maybe ths summer was a summer where i finally grew up . never strike back cos whats the point . someone is just gonna get hurt . if i ever gete angry , imma zen myself and let it all out through blog , this is my next new thing . { there`s more to life is you listen to your heart<3 tommrow is a new day and imma take t by the horns and be myself , no more holding back . i can do this .
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